Using Emotional Intelligence To Support Students During Crises of Confidence
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In higher education, we've all seen students hit a wall -- whether it's a mistake, a tough assignment, or something deeper. Suddenly, they're questioning whether they belong in college at all. In their darker moments, they may lose sight of the goals and the causes that once motivated them. As a faculty librarian who teaches research skills, coaches students one-on-one, and occasionally leads freshman seminars, I've had many of these conversations. Thankfully, students are voicing their concerns and starting the dialogue.
Over the years, I've noticed students' candor with librarians. We're not grading them, we're approachable, and we often work with them over multiple years. This positions us well to support students during difficult academic moments.
Yet, all faculty and staff on campus can guide students through moments of doubt, particularly by using . It allows us to understand and support students more effectively during these moments, and we can use it in two key ways: by modeling it ourselves and by helping students develop their own EI.
What Do Student Crises of Confidence Look Like?
During our interactions with them, a student may express that:
- They cannot succeed in college; dropping out seems to be the only option.
- They are unable to achieve goals that are meaningful to them, such as completing a particular major.
- They do not belong in this higher educational setting, or in higher education in general.
- They are unable to master the skills necessary to meet their goals.
- The tasks at which they must succeed in order to meet their goals are insurmountable.
- They feel that life circumstances make it impossible for them to continue their education (and a difficult assignment or a willing listener triggers an outpouring of emotion).
You may notice several things as you read this list. (In fact, I'd be interested in hearing more about what you notice.) Here are some realizations I've had throughout years of such conversations with students:
- There's a variety of scale in the concerns. Some students are having a difficult moment or are stuck on a single assignment. Others have layers of concerns that add up to a general impression of failure or lack of belonging.
- Student identity is a factor in many of these concerns.
- There's often a lot happening behind the immediate concern.
- You often have the opportunity to help build the student's confidence by offering academic support, helping them to strategize, or referring them to other support services.
Helping Students Build EI
Supporting students through academic struggles often means helping them develop EI skills -- especially in high-pressure moments. These situations can become opportunities for lasting growth.
Heather Craig's offers a useful starting point for understanding EI. The list begins with self-awareness (understanding what you're feeling) and self-regulation (understanding appropriate ways to display your emotions). For a student at any life or career stage, feeling that they're failing at college tends to bring up a ball of tangled emotions, fears, and self-criticism. As the faculty, administrators, and staff who are supporting them through academic development, we can help them begin to unravel the tangles. We can help them identify their concerns and plan to take action on them. Does this completely eliminate the problem? No. However, we can help shift the student from a state of panic to one where they understand their own concerns and have a plan. They know that they'll have to put in substantial work, but they feel considerably more capable of doing it. They also know that they have supporters behind them.
Social skills are the next component of EI. Many of the social skills discussed within EI focus on communication. Students bring all sorts of concerns and levels of past experience regarding communication. For newer students, an academic crisis may be the first time they need to contact their professor independently and plan a serious conversation. Their fears may be holding them back. Faculty and staff across campus can help with the strategizing. (Faculty who teach undergraduates-the lessons we give them in communicating with their professors are well worth the time!) More experienced students may fixate on the impressions they give their professors.
Here's my conversation strategy:
- Ask: "What's going on with your assignment? What are your worries?"
- Define what we can tackle in this session.
- Have them write down steps they need to take with others on campus.
- Emphasize the importance of asking for what they need.
- Remind them that taking action makes a strong impression.
The fifth component of EI (we'll return to the fourth in a moment) is motivation -- specifically intrinsic motivation. By helping students dial down the negative emotions they're feeling, we empower them to feel their own internal drives toward success again. We can also ask them what they love about the goals they're pursuing. This can help them to take ownership and feel successful once again.
Using Our Own EI Skills
Reading through the section on supporting students' EI development probably sparked ideas about how we can use the same components ourselves. Let's talk about that fourth component: empathy. Broadly, empathy means imagining or understanding others' emotions. It's a powerful quality -- and a tall order. When we're supporting a student in their late teens, or someone juggling school and a stressful living situation, it's easy to assume we understand. But presuming we fully grasp others' feelings can be more dangerous than admitting we often cannot.
University of Southern Maine Dean of Libraries & Learning Zachary Newell brings trainings and a philosophy of EI to a range of connected student services. He noted the value of including student employees in this philosophy: "The library is often the first place a student comes when they are overwhelmed. When that happens, we recognize it as a crucial conversation. Our approach is to start with heart, focusing on their success, and to cultivate an environment of trust through a non-judgmental tone. We don't just solve the problem at the desk, but instead see our role as a connector, a hand-off point to more specialized support."
"The Learning Commons, with its peer tutoring program, operates on these same principles of empathy and support," he added. "The student tutors, who have often navigated similar academic challenges, are uniquely equipped to provide support that goes beyond a single problem. They not only help retain students on their academic journey but also build a sense of community. This approach is intentionally guided by our leadership; the directors of the Learning Commons and the writing center, both of whom are specifically trained to mentor and guide their tutors in providing this crucial emotional support."
The Power We Have
By supporting students' development of emotional intelligence and using our own, we can pull students out of crisis mode and support them as they begin to take action on problems that feel insurmountable. The joy of seeing a student leave an interaction feeling calmer, prepared, and supported is a powerful thing -- and it plays an important role in campus-wide efforts to support student persistence and degree completion.
