Helping Families Help Students: How Colleges Can Support Student Mental Health
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The current landscape of higher education looks different than it did years ago, and one of the key aspects of this can be seen in what appears to be a symbiotic relationship between students and parents; that is, we can see the extent to which students are going to college both together and apart from their parents in significant ways. We've seen rapid transformation in technology and in the ways it shapes identity and interaction both on campus and between young people and their parents.
Even though parental involvement is highly encouraged throughout K-12, the sentiment is more mixed about the extent to which parents can and should be involved on the college level. Even though FERPA means that faculty cannot communicate with parents about students' class performance, colleges are still grappling with how to best support parents in supporting their students, especially in terms of mental health.
"When I first started working in higher education, we shied away from including families in the student experience because we wanted students to be self- sufficient," said Laura Bessent, M.Ed., director of new student and transition programs at the University of South Carolina Beaufort. "Though I still agree that cultivating self-efficacy is still extremely important, social media, screen time, and a global pandemic have had a major impact on this generation's mental health. Today's college students are way more likely to suffer from anxiety and depression than any other. In my opinion, it is unethical for colleges and universities to not help families support students' mental health."
Schools can facilitate parents having what they need to be supportive by informing them of:
- some of the ups and downs to expect during the college experience.
- why college can be a tender time in terms of mental health.
- how they can identify warning signs in their children.
- how to locate campus resources when help is warranted.
"...colleges and universities can help parents understand how to provide developmentally appropriate support that promotes autonomy while maintaining connection," said Beverly Kingston, Ph.D., sociologist and director of University of Colorado Boulder's Center for the Study and Prevention of Violence.
Some experts note that schools need to communicate with parents as early and often as possible about mental health and how to be helpful. At the College of William & Mary, they appear to be putting this idea into practice. Dr. Christopher Renjilian, who is associate vice president for health & wellness there said, "...we share information about our network of mental health services and supports (including after-hours and tele-mental health resources) during campus tours and visitation days when families visit our campus with their prospective students, at orientation events designed specifically for parents and family members, through social media, and on our web pages. The web page for the William & Mary Counseling Center includes a readily identifiable section for parents and guardians that includes information about services, a guide for parents to support their student(s), and 24-7 crisis resources, along with a genuine invitation for concerned parents to call the center for consultation and suggestions for problem-solving."
Kingston emphasized that the summer before college starts is a key time for parents to have honest conversations with their students about charged topics: "The transition to college represents a unique developmental window and an important opportunity for prevention. Although most students are legally adults when they arrive on campus, the parts of the brain involved in judgment, impulse control, emotional regulation, and decision-making continue to develop well into the mid-20s. At the same time, young adults are especially sensitive to social belonging, peer influence, and reward. Combined with the sudden increase in independence and exposure to new social environments, this creates a period of heightened vulnerability."
Bessent echoed Kingston when she shared with me that her favorite session to offer during the university's accepted students celebration is "helping families understand what steps they can take over the summer to help their students be more self-sufficient before they start college so they aren't so anxious when they move in...the most important topics I discuss are having conversations about living with people from different backgrounds, empowering students to make their own appointments and phone calls, and role-playing the difficult situations students may face and how to handle them. These types of conversations build resilience, and resilient students are better equipped to navigate the college transition."
Some students are very close with their parents, feel at ease confiding in them, and are more apt to expose their vulnerabilities and struggles to them. Other students may feel similarly but still harbor some understandable difficulties specifically related to their parents or to parental expectations and pressures. Of course, other students may hold their parents at more of a distance, or for one reason or another their parents may already be at more of a distance. For example, numerous students share with me that their parents don't believe in therapy or psychotropic medication and that it would be impossible for them to seek help off campus while on their parents' health insurance. Others have told me their parents' actions and behaviors are at the root of their struggles; this includes family violence, incest, addiction, prison time, and estrangement. For these groups of students, it's likely far more challenging, if not impossible, for students to rely on their parents to help them navigate their mental health needs at college. And yet, arguably, these students deserve sustained care.
In my own thirty years of college 四虎影视, I've listened to countless students disclose difficult and traumatic events, and I've worked hard to help them locate the resources to put them on a healing journey. And because I've been insulated from not having to communicate with parents, I've learned something else that feels equally fruitful and meaningful here -- the more we can equip and empower students with the knowledge and questions to have more productive conversations with their parents or other trusted adults about the issues that impact their well-being, the more parents will be prepared themselves. In fact, I've come to see my job as a translator, providing students with tools and language to help their parents and families better understand the realities and complexities of their lives and of the current texture of the college experience. This is one piece of a -- one that recognizes the importance of everyone across campus contributing to environments that prioritize safety, belonging, and strong support systems.
It's clear that supporting students' mental health and well-being must be a priority and , whether it is student affairs offices enlisting parents as partners or faculty creating space in class discussions that hold the bar as high for emotional intelligence and rigor as they might for academic intelligence and rigor. Campus life will be healthier for it, and students' lives beyond college will have even greater potential to flourish.
